On Saturday I went to one of my husbands Jiu Jitsu tournaments. It has been a while since I went to one because it really isn’t my thing but this is the year for change. I truly love when he’s there for me so more than likely he loves when I’m there for him. That experience led me to see some more things that he loves that leads him to loving me better. Here are five things that leads to what I just said:
#1 Support his endeavors! He has been doing these fights since way before I met him, childhood days to be exact but I can count on one hand how many times I have been to his fights. Sure I have excuses but I said I was changing that from this point on. I know he loves when I’m there to watch his fights even if he doesn’t win. It’s called support. He took the silver home by the way whoot whoot! Just like you love the support of your man, you best believe he loves your support too. Later he will look you in the eyes and tell you thanks for being there. You might even score kiss points.
#2 Share with him! Marcus loves to eat off my plate and I low key like it but I always have to do a little fuss about it. Call me dysfunctional. I realized though that he also likes when I offer him a bite of what I’m eating before he comes to get it, almost always guaranteed a chups (jamaican for a peck on the cheek) few minutes later. If you don’t want your man eating off your plate, make him one or some of whatever you are eating. Or maybe it’s not food but something else that you know he likes. Share! It makes him feel special so he in turn makes you feel special. Law of reciprocation y’all do good and good will follow you.
#3 Encourage him! Let your man know that you have faith in him. After all, you married him and if you have lost that faith start to build it back up by focusing on the things that he still has the ability to conquer in your eyes. Sometimes you have to look past the negatives. See I have no problems encouraging the things that he does that I like, but the things that I don’t care too much for, I ignore. God is reminding me that we are different and will like different things so encourage him nonetheless. Plus later he will tell you how good of a wife you are, your head will get big and you will walk on water boom!
#4 Just want what he wants sometimes for crying out loud! We left infancy stage way behind us and if you haven’t you need more than this blog. It can’t always be your way or the highway. He needs to know that his input is valued, his needs are important to you and that sometimes you are willing to sacrifice for him. This translates into, you respect and really love him. When you honor him that way and he goes to the store later, he comes back with chocolates for you and since the big kid is at school and the little one is sleeping…Ahem!
#5 Shock him by doing something you know he absolutely loves but doesn’t expect you to do! I can’t help you no further with this one only you know your man enough to do this one. Maybe you need to drop the prude pants and channel some of your inner Beyonce or Cookie or just bring back the girl he fell in love with. You would be surprised to find how he misses her *wink wink* If you still don’t get this one, sorry you need more than this blog.
This all can be summed up into being selfless with your husband. I have found that often when things aren’t going well between me and mines there is usually something selfish going on, on my part. He is rarely is the culprit. He ain’t perfect y’all but for me he is darn close.
Everyone’s relationship dynamics may not be like mine. For some folks it’s the other way around. The man is the culprit all the time. However, these principles are a good place to start to fix things. You can’t change people but you can change you! The Bible can’t be wrong and it pretty much says so in 1 Peter 3:1
Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your husbands, so that even if they refuse to believe the word, they will be won over without words by the behavior of their wives
I have firsthand proof of that but that’s a story for a different Tuesday. Your relationship might not change right away but stick it out, you can’t give up, God will reward you for your efforts! Well, wha ya wait pos? Go! get started now!